Thursday, April 30, 2009

"U" is for Underwhelmed

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. I thought that finishing up school would be a real walk in the park, but it was more like a walk in the park alone at night in the dark being afraid of every noise and feeling horribly anxious about muggers lurking in dark places.

Okay. So maybe it wasn't that bad, but it was pretty bad. I had no outstanding obligations, and I felt horribly useless and anxious about my free-time, as if I were surely forgetting to do something important. I had made a paltry "to do" list to calm my soul, but really? Deep down I knew that all of the items on my list could wait until tomorrow. Or next week. Or never.

At the end of the day I opened our calendar and stuffed as many things into the next few days as possible. Today I had five appointments and a handful of important errands to run. Ahhh.... Thats more like it...

Shibuya, in downtown Tokyo, is one of my favorite busy places.
When I lived in Japan as a missionary, my first apartment was five minutes from this intersection, which is the busiest in the world.


Tay said...

Many of us had that "now what" feeling after graduating. It is a place to notice the contrast between frenetic academia and the looming responsibility of being a self-supporting adult. Breathe deeply and enjoy the existential angst. Dad

Robbie said...

Good luck with the transition! I hope you find a great job that you love as much as you love school! I can't believe how far beyond that feeling I am by now, after being out of school for over 3 years, and now having been staying home for 4 months...I love being able to do whatever I want all the time! It used to really bug me, though. Everyone says to enjoy it now before the baby comes, so I'm trying!