Sunday, December 13, 2009

Looking to avoid divorce? Five things to keep in mind...

Every Sunday, my friend Chelsea makes a sheet of announcements for the Relief Society (the women's organization) at church. The back of the paper often features recipes, or life stories about certain women in our group, but today's was called "The top five ways to avoid meeting with me in my office". It was written by a sister in our Relief Society group who is a divorce attorney, and I thought that it was interesting enough that I asked her permission to share it with you here.

This is written as advice from one woman with years and years of experience as an attorney to other women, but if you are a man, I have confidence that you can make the adjustments in the semantics to make it work for you. Without further ado, here are her Top Five ways to avoid meeting with a divorce lawyer.
  1. Do not spend more than you earn. Remember, all that stuff you charge will be valued at yard sale value when you divorce, nobody will want it, and you will wonder why it was so important to have it rather than a happier life and marriage.
  2. Do not join a woman's group, book club, life coach team, or exercise group with people who are looking to "find themselves" when to find themselves means to put down or blame others (namely, their husbands).
  3. Do not develop a closer friendship with anyone else than you have with your spouse, and do not spend time alone with anyone of the opposite sex.
  4. Do not continually choose what you perceive to be your children's needs over your spouse, because if you do, you may lose your spouse. Parenting is done together... when done separately, it is usually done in separate households.
  5. Do not lie to your spouse... even in jest, and even sarcastically. Don't put your spouse down in a joking manner... believe me, jokes are the basis of many legal claims for separation and divorce. We call them "indignities which make the life of one spouse intolerable and their life unbearable".
Her ideas gave me some things to think about, and I hope it was meaningful for you too. Thanks Leigh Ann!


Andrew and Lauren said...

So good! I love number 2 (it kind of made me laugh, but not in an "I'm taking this as a joke" kind of way, but rather a "that is SO true" kind of way).

Damaris @Kitchen Corners said...

not planning on getting a divorce but it's good to be reminded of how to stay united.

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