We have a dilemma. We are trying to think of gifts to take to our friends who will be hosting us in Europe, but clearly, nearly anything European is superior to anything American. We thought of taking chocolates, but the finest chocolates found in America are European. Does it really make sense to take chocolate back to its motherland, by which point it's quadruped in price? I've heard that our rubbery American chocolate does better as pencil erasers in Europe than as an edible, so that is also out of the running. (Notably, they also make superior pencil erasers).
Or then we considered the default option of taking something "Tar-heel"ish, to spread the UNC pride. But the concept of college sports is rather a foreign one in Europe, and only serves as a reminder of American football and basketball, which are far inferior to soccer, as far as sports are concerned. Clearly, we are losing this battle.