It's off to work I go...
For years I have wondered how I would do with being a mom. I never questioned how in love with my children I would be - I fall in love with everyone else's children so couldn't imagine there being much of an issue in that department - but I always wondered if being home full-time was the thing for me. I love to be busy, I love to interact with my community and learn things, and I always figured that for my personality, being the best mom meant having some of my own things over on the sidelines, one of which would very likely be at least part-time work.
Since Gigi has come along, I have fallen hard for this little girl. Although I have kept up some of my sidelines activities, I have also been surprisingly satisfied to be a full-time mom, even if there are days that I don't quite make it to the shower or never take a step outside our apartment. I figured that for the next year or so I would simply be Gigi's mom, and enjoy a full year of breast-feeding and being front and center for all of her developments and growing.
And then it happened: right after I started feeling completely in my element, a job offer came along, and I took it! Out of the blue, my boss from my first year of grad school (who is the Director of Recruitment, Admissions and Financial Aid at the UNC School of Social Work) contacted me with the proposition of taking on some of her responsibilities while she is out on maternity leave this coming academic year. After a weekend of a lot of thought and prayers, I had the impression that this was something that I should go for, and so starting the second week of August, I will be working at the UNC School of Social Work. I have signed on for 20 hours a week, and so munchkin will be spending a few more hours with Daddy. With Marcos working primarily from home, the decision for me to take this job was loads less frightening.
But oh, the mixed feelings! I feel... excited for this opportunity to rub shoulders with great people in the School of Social Work and potential grad students from all over the country, I feel a bit intimidated by the amount of work, the importance of the work and the massive shoes I have to fill, I feel sad that Marcos may have the chance to see Gigi's accomplishments before I do, I feel scared that I will not do a good job in this position, I feel happy about the things we will be able to do with an extra income, I feel flattered that I was sought out for a great job in this economy, and I feel grateful that I am able to have such an ideal set-up: half-time work for just a year, great pay, Gigi gets to stay with Marcos, and I get all of the accumulative experience of a really cool job.
So why do I already miss Gigi?