Today was my first day back at work after the super-Utah-vacation, and the first time ever that I didn't take my pump with me. For all of the things that have gone right during these past 14+ months of mothering, breastfeeding has been one of the very best, and the very most rewarding for me. I have loved my time with my little girl, to stroke her face and hair, to hum songs for her, and for the time breastfeeding gave me to stop, and think, and just be present with my child.
I approached breastfeeding like I approached labor and most other things parent-related: "let's hope for the best but not be too set on a certain outcome" (this is how I avoid most guilt and disappointment in my life), but I remember distinctly that after 10 days of real touch and go, I felt like we were going to make it. Then, when Gigi was four months old and I started working half-time, I made the goal of breastfeeding her exclusively until she was a year old (thank you office door for allowing me the privacy to pump at work!), and well... we just didn't know how to stop. Here we are at 14+ months and we have phased out until all that is left of me is snuggles. I owe a great shout out to Gigi and to my breasts for providing nothing but 100% Häagen-Dazs for this little girl. It's been real.
Now that the chapter of having exclusive time between me and Gigi is finished, I will have to learn how to be fun.