Happy New Year from the Prietos!

Dearest Family and Friends,

This blog has been used precious few times this year as a way of tracking the comings and goings of our family, but hopefully it will serve its duty as a way to bring you warm New Years Greetings as we kick off 2017!  We did not make a Christmas card this year, but thank you to those who sent beautiful cards from your families.  We love to hear the updates, and see your happiness!  For those of you who will not make it to the end of this letter, I will wish you here a very Happy New Year!  So much love and happiness to you all in the coming year.  May it bring more joy than we can imagine!

I've read a lot of mixed reviews of 2016 as a whole, and I have to admit, around Election time our hearts were very heavy.  That blow was hard to shake!  However, I just looked through our photos of this year in order to choose a few to add to this letter, and in our very small sphere of the Prieto Family Living on Planet Earth, 2016 was full of happiness and joy and riches - not wealth, but riches in health, thriving kids, new experiences as a family, and challenges that brought growth, maturity and new understanding.  All in all, a lot for which to be thankful.

Happy New Year!  The Acorn Drop in Raleigh on New Years Eve.

As the very most special highlight of the year, in January we welcomed our new little baby boy - Luca Armand - into our family!  He is delicious, and provides us as parents with constant joy (and not a little anxiety with his climbing antics).  It's a good thing that Gigi and Orion adore him so much, because he truly does require a lot of work - from everybody!  Somebody grab Luca from the stairs!  Somebody clean up the toys that Luca threw all over the floor! Somebody take the marble out of his mouth!  Somebody stop him from getting to the toilet!  Somebody run and get me a diaper!  He is practicing his walking now, and can go about 12 steps before falling down.  He climbs the stairs in a heartbeat, and is the only one I can count on to always love my cooking.  He's a perfect 3rd child - easy, friendly, and always game for a nap on the go if that's what the day requires.

Another highlight of 2016 was our family trip to my homeland of Hawaii in May.  Since we live in North Carolina and Hawaii is so far away, the last time we went was 5 years ago.  However, my dear friends from high school had the idea last year to have a reunion in May of 2016.  So, we saved our pennies and we were able to take the whole family across the country and half way across the Pacific Ocean for a 2-week trip to paradise.  Somehow, we managed the miracle of balancing our time between my Uncle John and Aunty Lani and their crew over on the Big Island, my best sister friend Lindsay Gibson and her crew over on the North Shore of O'ahu, our dear friends TD and Gavin in my hometown of Kailua, and a solid weekend of enjoyable reunion events with school friends from my childhood.  I want to say "high school" friends, but many of us actually went from 1st grade through 12th grade together.  This trip brought so much happiness: it was the first time in Hawaii that I felt as... adult as I felt this year.  Going with children and seeing them play with their cousins, seeing the islands for the first time as a full-fledged parent, connecting with very long-time friends with the level of depth that we enjoyed...  it was really a special gift that we will treasure for a long time. Thank you to all of you who made that trip so enjoyable!

The house I grew up in!

In the world of the big kids, this year has been a year of family fun, loving learning, and getting used to what it means to be a student.  Orion amazes us with his focus and work ethic.  He often scopes out a place where adults are working on a project (raking the yard, painting the fence, spreading gravel, etc.) and then helps out until the job is finished.  His contribution may be small, but I can't tell you how many people have come up to us to tell us stories of how he saw a need, pitched in, and worked until the job was done.  A true mini-Marcos!  Lately he has been really interested in talking up older girls, riding his bike (which he learned this summer), building anything, playing games as a family and cooking with mom.  Here are some recent Orion-isms...

While driving down the road...
Orion: When we are driving fast and the windows are open and we are listening to this music my body feels like a party!

At the donut store while Gigi was at school...
Orion: Can we buy Gigi a donut?
Metta: No, it will melt in the car before we can pick her up.
Orion: But I want her to be happy!

Listening to Michael Jackson in the car...
Orion: Michael Jackson died, right?
Us: Yes...
Orion: It was because he took too much medicine, right?
Us: Yeah...
Orion: Which flavor do you think it was?  Cherry...?  Or maybe strawberry?

Orion: When I am a parent and have my own kids, I can make my own rules.

Orion turned 4 this year!

And played on his first soccer team with Coach Marcos!

This year Gigi started 1st grade at the Emerson Waldorf School, and we really hit the jackpot with Gigi's teacher, Ms. Ritz!  She is a class act, and will be Gigi's teacher for all 8 years of grade school if we remain in the area, since Waldorf teachers move up with their class each year.  Gigi is many things, but mainly a designer, artist (creating "art" out of our recyclables), builder, thinker and dreamer.  Personality-wise, we are differently paced, and I have to constantly remind myself to be patient because she is a brilliant day-dreamer type and I am often in what I like to call, "business mode".  She is much less extroverted than Marcos and me, but has really come into her own as a grade schooler.  She has a strong sense of self, and is happy to play alone or in small groups with friends.  She loves crafting, stories, playing outside, and jumping and balancing on things.  I'm thinking about signing her up for parkour.  For Christmas Marcos bought her the book "Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls" (a must read for every girl!), and she is in love with the book and all of the stories of girls and women who dared to be bold and change the world around them.  She comes across as rather unassuming, but watch out world: this girl is on fire!

On the first day of winter break...
Gigi: "I wish I didn't have break!"
Me: "Why is that?"
Gigi: "I really like Ms. Ritz!"

Listening to music in the car...
Gigi: I love Coldplay!  When you listen to them you feel like a movie star!

Gigi: Mom, I really want a pocket knife.
Me: Gigi, I just don't think that it's appropriate to get you a knife.  I don't feel good about giving a 6-year old a big blade.
Gigi: But mom, I would only use it for emergencies, like getting a balloon out of a tangle!  Plus, you can teach me how to handle a knife.

Gigi and Ms. Ritz!

My mom, "Tutu", still lives 10 minutes away and we get to see her a few times a week.  She is such a blessing, for us and the kids!

Gigi LOVES Luca.  I have hundreds of photos of her smothering him with love.

Gigi turned 6 this year!

And I guess that brings things around to us adults.  Let's start with Marcos.  Marcos is a great guy, but you already knew that!  Big things in Marcos-land this year were becoming an American Citizen in time to vote in the Presidential Elections, receiving a promotion at work, and a few short solo trips to visit his family in Utah and for a conference in Austin, TX.  He was also a great help to the Parent Organization at Gigi's School, and he coached Orion's little soccer team this fall.  Importantly, Marcos and I made the very difficult decision almost exactly one year ago to bow out of the Mormon Church after years of being really, really involved, so that has given us more time as a family, and more time with Marcos around on the weekends.  We have loved having the time to really center our lives around our family and explore things together - hiking, art exhibitions, neighboring towns, and Sunday brunch with friends!  Mmmm....

Marcos and his family in Utah

The newest American on the block!

Thanksgiving in Spring Lake, NJ.  A really great week spent with my dad and his clan! 

And finally, there's me, Metta.  I spend most of my time taking care of the kiddos and steering the HMS Prieto.  Although I find my family work satisfying, other things that have fed my soul this year are my ventures in hip-hop dance, the many thought-provoking books I have read, gal time with close friends who expand my world, and my leadership positions at the Emerson Waldorf School.  I am on the Board of Trustees again this year, and I am a co-coordinator of the school Parent Organization.  This year as a Board member I sit on the Diversity Committee and the Development Committee, and have enjoyed the stretching and learning that has come along with these roles.  In addition, with our departure from the Mormon church, this year has been a year of stepping more fully into my voice and embracing some of the beautiful mystery that is a part of living, it was a year of slightly shifting social worlds, of recognizing the power of dissent, and the courage of aligning our decisions with our true Moral North.  It has definitely been a year of pushing my evolutionary edge!  These kind of years make me extra thankful to have the love and support of my family and loyal friends.

Apparently I like to.... make cakes.

Ahhh... Botany Bay.  A magical side trip on my Gal's Weekend with friends in Charleston, SC.

And that's a look at 2016!  Thanks for being important to our family, and for the memories we have made together in the past.  Here's to many more for the future!  Happy 2017, and all of our best wishes for connection and joy with the people you love the most.

Lots of love, aloha and amor,

Metta and Marcos, Gigi, Orion and Luca Prieto

Two Teeth Down...

Marcos grabbed Gigi's first tooth out with needle nose pliers and yanked it out.  The next one came out a few days later at school when Gigi twisted it out during snack time.  She is rocking the gappy grin!

NC Hot Air Balloon Festival 2015

This was back in mid-October of last year.  Now that 8 months have passed I feel like I can look back at these photos without the acute anxiety in my chest that this day originally brought me, and I can almost laugh.  Almost, but not quite...  

It's a long story, but basically the weather was perfect that weekend, and I don't know if they advertised differently or what, but a much larger crowd showed up than usual.  We've been going to the NC Hot Air Balloon Festival for years, and it's always a highlight of our year, so I had invited some friends to come along.  Basically, after waiting for hours in traffic that didn't move, and seeing the hot air balloons disappearing through the sky, we finally arrived and took these photos in the parking lot before we even entered the fair.  Which was fortunate, because once we got into the event the last balloons had just launched and we had missed the entire thing.  Our friends who had traveled for hours to be there were turned away because the parking was completely full and there was no more room in the Inn.  I was dying inside that I had invited friends, only for them to get so close and then be turned away.  I felt really awful.  

But we tried to make the best of the night.  We caught a few cute photos, ate well, saw my favorite Scottish band play and then headed home.  Kind of a fiasco of a day, and I don't know if we will try again next year.  My heart might need a skip year to recover.

But despite the inner anguish, I think we still managed to look adorable.  Those kids...

Apple Harvest

Hello there.  Me again, back to finish up some posts from last fall!  (Amazing how young the kids look to me, now that I have allowed some months to go by!).

My friend Carrie Cate invited us to come to their home and harvest apples, since they are living the homestead dream.  Gigi was in Kindergarten this past year with her son Lennox, and Orion and their Zara are also about the same age.  We were hoping that the tree would be as laden with apples as it was the year before, but the pickings were sparse.  Oh well.  It was enough to make up a delicious batch of apple sauce loaded with cinnamon.  We took home several jars with us, and over the next days I heated the chunky apple sauce on the stove top and served it with vanilla ice cream.  It was exactly the perfect flavor of my Tutu's baked apples growing up.  It was like that flashback scene in the animated film Ratatouille, when the bad guy is reminded of his mother's cooking when he was a child...  so fragrant, so delicious...

Tutu came with us, as you can see.  She is always game for fun and unique experiences with the kids.

I love being friends with Carrie Cate.  She runs as loose of a ship as I do a tight one, and we balance each other out well.  We don't agree on everything, but I love how she draws me away from the edge and into a space of acceptance and peace with my children.  When I am frustrated she reminds me how good they are, and she's not afraid to call me out on my parenting BS.  She's also remarkably non-judgmental, even though she is an over-researcher and has come to some very tight conclusions about how kids should be raised.  How does she do that?  I don't know, but I appreciate how accepting she is of everyone.

These goats.... such a crack up.  They were more interested in eating the basket than the apples.

This is what it looked like most of the time!  A human pyramid of sorts, scaffolded by a rickety ladder.  Orion and Zara below, with their bounty.

And the true joy of the day: the apple peeler/corer!  If we ever have an apple tree, this will be an essential tool in our kitchen.  The kids loved being able to prepare the apples for the apple sauce pot, and Carrie Cate said that she found it on Amazon for cheap.  Hooray!

The World's Youngest Teenagers!

Although I know in my brain that Orion is 3 years old and Gigi is 5, I still feel like I'm raising the world's youngest teenagers.

(Yaaaaay....)

Here's the latest from the peanut gallery.

***

Orion: When I turn 4, I'm going to do whatever I want to do.

***

During a moment of intense frustration at Marcos and me...

Gigi: You... FOOLS!!!!

***

Gigi: (mumbles something inaudible)
Me: What was that?
Gigi: Nevermind.  What I said wasn't true.  I'm glad you didn't hear me.
Me: ...Okay...

***

At bath time when we reminded him not to do something dangerous...

Orion: It's my choice!  You can't control me!

***

Having a mommy daughter heart to heart about priorities and decisions that adults have to make...

Gigi: I want a nice house when I grow up and I want to keep it really clean and I want to make nice food and never eat...  What are those things we had on the airplane?  (This is half a year after our trip)
Metta: Uhhh... lunchables?
Gigi: Yes, lunchables!

***

Orion: Mom!  I'm going to be the new John Lennon in the Beatles!

Luca's Newborn Session

Last week, on the day Luca was exactly two weeks old, we did a photo shoot with my friend Richelle Bozung.  She was so patient and worked for hours to take the best photos possible.  These are my favorites from her edited images, and I love how they turned out.  Thanks Richelle!

Welcome Baby Luca!

Three weeks ago, on January 17th, our baby Luca was born!  Since both Gigi and Orion arrived more than a week after their due dates, imagine our surprise when exactly on Luca's due date (January 16th) I started to have contractions at a party we attended that afternoon.  Earlier that morning I had attended a Waldorf Education Day at Gigi's school and sat in on a "3rd Grade sampler".  The teacher had us run and skip around in a big circle to learn the 3x multiplication tables just as the kids do.  When he added that I could tone it down to whatever level I thought would be appropriate, I joked that if skipping around would get labor started, I'd try it!  And who knows, maybe that is what got things started...

That afternoon after we returned home from the party, we continued our evening as planned - movie night at our friend's home.  My mom came over to watch the kids at our place, and Marcos and I went to watch The Martian with our close friends Amber and TJ.  My contractions had been regular (though infrequent) for a few hours, and so during the movie I had Marcos download an app on his phone that allowed me to track the frequency and duration of the contractions, and then rate how strong I felt they were.  By the end of the movie my contractions were coming every six or seven minutes, but I was still rating them mainly "mild" and I knew that I was still in very early labor.  Since Amber was a wicked brilliant nurse in a past chapter of life and TJ is a urogynecology Fellow at UNC, we joked that if I was going to labor at any friend's home, I had done a really good job choosing theirs!

After the movie we returned home late, and asked my mom to stay the night with us just in case I ended up having to leave with Marcos in the middle of the night.  Sure enough, by 2am I felt like things were really progressing, and I woke Marcos and we drove to the hospital.  Unfortunately, on the car ride over I experienced exactly zero contractions, and since in my history that car ride has traditionally been one of the worst car rides of my life, I knew that labor had stalled out a little and that it wasn't even worth checking in to triage.  We turned around, drove home and went back to bed.

By 4am I had been sleep-contracting for enough hours that I was thoroughly exhausted and so very, very ready for the epidural I had been dreaming about.  Before I had kids I imagined that I would do birthing very naturally, but with both Gigi and Orion I had asked for an epidural along the way.  After two rounds of back labor and so many hours of missed sleep, the epidurals had brought such rest that this time I embraced the idea and made it part of my birth plan: show up at the hospital, request an epidural, sleep and rest, and then put all of my good energy into birthing baby boy when I was dilated and ready to go.  

And that's more or less how it went.  We arrived at the quiet hospital at 4am, and by 5am I was checked in and had my epidural (I was the only one laboring on the floor at that time - miracle!).  From then until mid-morning I was able to sleep peacefully, with Marcos sprawled across the couch in my room.  We awoke to an absolutely beautiful sight of a sky full of snow flurries outside of our huge 4th floor window - the first snow of the season!  My feeling that morning was of perfect peace - the silent white sky, the joyful anticipation of meeting my son that day, the restful feeling that had been afforded by the epidural, and the time Marcos and I had to connect meaningfully with our midwife Shannon Keller and our wonderful nurse Michele (to the right and left of me, below).

Unfortunately, the epidural that allowed me to rest and conserve energy also ended up stalling labor.  When I awoke from my morning rest my contractions were virtually non-existent, and after an unsuccessful attempt to jumpstart my labor by having Shannon break my waters, we ended up putting pitocin into my IV and that really got things going.  On the monitor, the contractions started to pick back up into perfectly regular mountains.  By early afternoon, I started to feel like the epidural was wearing off, as the pressure of baby's head started to descend and prepare to exit the birth canal.  I had forgotten how intense that pressure is, and started to feel robbed of my plan to have a peaceful delivery!  By 3pm Marcos was coaching me through incredibly intense contractions, and I was fully dilated.  The pressure did not abate because baby boy was in place and ready to go!

I have to say that in my opinion, the one part of labor and delivery that I really excel at is pushing out the baby.  With Gigi, I pushed for 25 minutes and felt like a real champion for getting her out so quickly after a good day and a half of being in labor.  With Orion, it took 5 minutes for me to push him out.  So, I was a little cocky and had told the midwife and nurse that I was good at pushing out babies, but I had spoken too soon: with Luca, the pushing felt like an eternity.  I remember feeling like I was zooming away from earth into a black expanse with stars, as I squeezed my eyes shut and gave it my all through the contractions.  At one point I gave up, and told everyone that I couldn't do it, but there were too many experienced women in that room and they all encouraged me to keep going.  Once his head was out, I knew that I could do the rest, and with one final push our son was born!  

I was fairly certain that I had pushed for a long time, but when I asked, the nurse said that I had started pushing at 3:00pm and he was born at 3:08pm - 8 minutes!  I felt so incredibly proud that I had birthed our son, and especially because he surprised us all by being so big.  For the first hour or two after he was born he snuggled naked on my chest and slept cuddled under blankets, but when they weighed him and cleaned him up, we confirmed that he was a big guy.  We all made guesses but he beat them all - 9 pounds 4 ounces, and 22 inches!  Wow!  I felt so thankful to have had a talented midwife who helped me to birth a 9+ pound baby in 8 minutes, and without any tearing at all.  Go team Prieto!           

My mom was so helpful and stayed with the big kids so that Marcos and I could enjoy a relaxing two days in the hospital.  Tutu brought Gigi and Orion each day for a few hours and we ate sushi together, enjoyed the pampering from the nurses who loved the big kids and brought them gifts, and visited the pantry on the floor for small cups of chocolate ice cream and Italian ices.  Gigi and Orion LOVED meeting their baby brother, and were extremely sweet and gentle with him.  When Orion visited, if I got up to go to the bathroom he insisted on holding my hand while I walked, "In case you fall, mama".  Gigi took off my hospital socks and gave me foot rubs every chance she had.

And then it was time to pack up and go home.  It was bittersweet leaving the hospital and all of the help that was available at the press of a button.  As I was being wheeled down to Marcos and our waiting car I thought about when I had left the hospital with Giovanna as a brand new mom, and remembered very keenly the fear and overwhelm that I had felt.  The first time I took that ride down to the car there were tears running down my face, and this time I was confident and peaceful.  Amazing what power comes from experience.  Welcome to our family, little Luca Armand!

These photos were taken maybe a week or so after Luca was born.  I was mainly trying to capture my favorite little part of his body, which is that tiny spiral cowlick on his forehead.  That, and to expose him to a very warm sunny morning, in the hopes that it might help his jaundice.

To answer a few questions we hear often...

Q: Where did you get the name Luca Armand?

A: Many years ago my sister friend Lindsay and her mom Carol went to Europe on a grand tour, and in Italy their tour guide was named Luca.  They came back talking about their handsome Italian tour guide "Luca", and the name has been bouncing around in my head ever since.  It was on our list of possible boy names, but it wasn't at the top (Emerson and Achilles were our top choices for a long time), but when he was born it just seemed to fit best.  We are not sure where the name Armand came from.  We may have come across it when we were looking through lists of names online, but perhaps it just jumped into our heads at some point.  In any case, we just feel like there is something royal about it.

Q: Is he a good eater?

A: The first day of his life, Luca did not have any interest in eating.  The nurses said that sometimes when babies are born quickly they don't get all of the amniotic fluid squeezed out of them and so therefore their tummies are still somewhat full and they might not feel hungry.  The first night of his life I don't think he woke up once!  But as his system cleared out his appetite emerged and he has been a great eater ever since.  About one week to ten days into his life, breastfeeding was killer, but now we are on the other side of that hump and I am healing and we are both doing well.  The pediatrician is very happy with him because at one week he was over his birth weight, and at two weeks he was already 10 pounds.  

Q: Is he a good sleeper?

A: So far, so good.  He eats about every four hours through the night, which isn't bad at all for a newborn.  During the day he eats every three to four hours, and sleeps most of the time.  I have had a few friends say that big babies are better sleepers and so far that seems accurate for Luca!

Q: How is the transition to three kids?

A: My answer is always, "Ask me when Marcos goes back to work!".  Marcos is on his fourth week of paid paternity leave, and it is not wasted on us that we are incredibly lucky.  Now that I am getting around more I have plenty to do, but having Marcos get up with the big kiddos, make lunches, and do all of the driving to and from school, coop preschool, etc. etc. has been incredibly helpful.  The first few days were rough as Marcos and I adjusted to being around each other so many hours every day, but we've really grown to enjoy this quality time together with the big kiddos and with Luca.  Marcos has been extremely supportive and I am really thankful for him.